Trying to stay positive

It's been a week since my last blog and things haven't improved :( I have taken it a lot easier this week - no running or walking on the treadmill, just weights, bike, rower and stair master. But nothing has improved. I haven't even been to the gym since Wednesday. That's 4 days of complete rest with very little improvement. 

I have an appointment with my obstetrician on Friday so I'm curious to hear what he has to say. I'll wait until I hear from him before I book in with a physio.

I'm really disappointed but I'm trying to keep positive. I had a good talk with Trent on Friday night and said all of the things out loud that I haven't said before. I know this won't last forever but I didn't actually realise that my recovery from a natural birth would be this long.

I had a c-section for Poppy, much to my disgust. I desperately wanted to give birth naturally but when I was 4 days overdue and she wasn't even looking like engaging, the obstetrician convinced me that I would never go into labour and I needed to book in a c-section. I have regretted it ever since. 

So for Matilda's birth I was more determined than ever to try and give birth naturally.  I found an obstetrician who was willing to attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section), and resigned myself to the fact that I could be pregnant a very long time while I waited for this baby to make its grand entrance. As it turned out, she was a week overdue! And interestingly, the end of the pregnancy was exactly the same as Poppy - no engagement, looking very much like she was going to be in there a very long time.

But, they can't stay in there forever! After a long 30 hour labour Matilda arrived, and did quite a lot of damage to me on the way out.  I'm now wondering if the 2nd degree tear I got and 20+ stitches has made my recovery longer than usual. It certainlt is longer than my recovery from the c-section. but when i think back, I didn't get back into any exercise for 6months because I wasn't imto running then. 

Adding to my frustration is the fact that women really don't talk about these things. It's really hard to know what's 'normal' because no-one talks about it and its not really something I feel comfortable asking people.

Anyway, my frustration levels are at an all time high even though the logical part of my brain is telling me to be patient and give it time.

I am still entered into the 10km Jetty to Jetty fun run which is on July 21st. Depending on what my doctor says, I'm leaning towards having the whole next 4 weeks off completely from walking/running and see what happens. That will still give me 5-6 weeks to get ready for the 10km. Wouldn't be enough to do a quick time but that's ok with me. Baby steps!